Let’s start with an activity. Suppose an athlete says this to you, in passing. What do you hear in this statement? What do you want to say or ask the athlete?
‘With that competition just a few weeks away, I get so frustrated with myself when I have those training sessions where I don’t do as well as I know I can. Sometimes I’m able to turn those sessions around and really make them count but other times they just get me down. I just want to be at my best for it and can get worried that all this effort over the years could be for nothing.’
In any statement an athlete, colleague, friend or partner makes, there’s multiple opportunities to ask questions. Typically, we’re perhaps drawn to questions that are more aligned with trying to fix the issue, get to the cause of the problem or reassure the other person that it’ll all be ok. Perhaps, to the statement above, you found yourself wondering what causes those sessions where they don’t do as well? What is it about the sessions that get them down? And if you’re really going for it, whats ‘really going on’ with this person?
All valid lines of curiosity and, if asked to the athlete, will generate a particular conversation.
However I want to propose that that conversation following these questions is a ‘problem-focused’ conversation. As useful as these lines of enquiry may be, we’re missing some other clues that may offer other possibilities during the briefest of conversations.
For instance, sometimes they can turn those sessions around, so, how do they manage to do that? Those sessions that get them down and frustrated have happened in the past, so how do they manage to get back on track for the next session? Or you maybe heard how much they want to be at their best for the upcoming competition, so given the ups and downs of training, how would they even know they were at their best?
Unlike the more traditional ‘problem-focused’ questions, these lines of enquiry are more ‘solution-focused’. They reflect a listener that is listening out for what’s important to the person, their strengths, abilities to cope and resilience. And once they hear it, they’ll tentatively enquire about them, helping to amplify them further. Compared with the ‘problem-focused’ questions, the ‘solution-focused’ questions could facilitate a very different direction to the conversation.
It’s my belief that, given the relative brevity in which we can have time with any one athlete, coaches and support staff could add solution-focused listening, and questioning, to their tool kit. By listening out for and amplifying signs of coping, what matters, resilience and motivation despite the raft of challenges faced by athletes, coaches can further facilitate athlete wellbeing, growth and performance.
So let’s try another example. But this time, see if you can ‘listen’ for solutions – signs of coping, strengths, resilience and for what’s important to the person – and ask an appropriate question that may help amplify these aspects:
‘I’m absolutely gutted about injuring my leg again. I’m raging that I’ve let it happen. The rehabilitation was so slow last time, I was surprised I manage to come back so well the first time round. I really don’t know if I’ve got it in me to do it all again and come back stronger, or at least as strong.’
Again, there’s different possibilities baked into that statement. I’ve presented below some possible problem-focused and solution-focused questions.
What differences do you notice between these two sets of questions? What becomes possible when you follow one line of questioning compered to another? And how do they compare to the questions you wanted to ask? What do your questions tell you about what you were ‘listening’ out for?
Problem-focused Questions
– What did you do to injure your leg again?
– What do you mean that you let it happen?
– Why was the rehabilitation so slow last time?
– Why do you think you’ve not got it in you?
Solution-focused Questions
– How are you managing with it all?
– How did you manage to come back so well the first time?
– Who knows you well and wouldn’t be surprised to see you coming back so well again?
– What would tell you you’re on your way to coming back stronger?
So, perhaps the task here is to listen, but do so differently. Not to necessarily analyse what the person’s saying, or to make some sort of intervention or to get information. What if we listened for signs of strengths, resilience and what matters, and choose to build on that through our questions? What becomes possible then?
And to go a touch further, what if people become the questions they’re asked? Who then are we inviting the other person to become?
Want to develop your solution-focused skills further? I’m running the next foundation Skill Sprints group in the summer of 2024. Join me and a group of up to 5 other like-minded coaches, managers and practitioners to learn how to listen and build on strengths in order to make an impact in the lives of those we have conversations with. Get in touch to discuss further!
Andy Blyth 